With Thanksgiving nearly here it's a good time for me to announce my much-anticipated list of "Top Political Turkeys."

In case you never heard of this list (and you probably haven't since I only dreamed up the idea an hour before my deadline) it recognizes those political figures who in the past year have lived up to the extremely low expectations I have when it comes to politics.

And yes, I realize calling people "turkeys" is a bit silly, but its no less silly than running TV ads showing Liberal Leader Michael Ignatieff standing in the forest lecturing squirrels.

So without further ado here are my Top Political Turkeys:

Turkey No. 1 -- Finance Minister Jim Flaherty

Flaherty earned a spot on the turkey list because of his cruelty to Canada's economists, who had to keep up with his always changing deficit numbers. First, Flaherty said the deficit was $30 billion, and then he said $40 billion, then $56 billion, meaning our poor economists had to constantly redo their calculations. This unfortunately led to tragedy when one economist became so frazzled he got caught between his supply and demand curves.

Turkey No. 2 - NDP leader Jack Layton

It wasn't easy putting Layton on this list because his retro "class warfare" rhetoric reminds us all of a simpler time when crackpot socialism was the economic system of choice for dictators everywhere. So why is he a turkey? Because he ruined my "ironclad" prediction that the NDP would never prop up a Conservative government. How was I supposed to know Layton was a secret member of the "Socialists for Harper" fan club?

Turkey No. 3 --- The United Nations

The UN gets a turkey because it really should be a TV reality show called "The World's Got Tyrants." Each week a different psychopathic leader would appear on the show and speak before the General Assembly in hopes of being named "Global Lunatic of the Year." The winner would receive a plaque, two tickets to a Michael Moore documentary and an official apology from U.S President Barack Obama.

Turkey No. 4 -- The Media

Canada's political media is a turkey because it obsesses with trivial issues. Who cares whether or not the prime minister received the eucharist during a Roman Catholic mass? The media should be covering important stories people actually care about, such as did Ignatieff receive an eyebrow transplant and is Prime Minister Stephen Harper really a robot?

Turkey No. 5 -- The "Socialist-Separatist" Coalition

This is a no-brainer. The coalition, which would have seen a governing alliance between the NDP, the Liberals and the Bloc Quebecois, was a turkey the size of Godzilla. In fact, instead of a "Coalition" they should have called it the "Grand Turkey Triumvirate."

So that's the official turkey list for 2009, but don't go away because as an added bonus here are some honourable mention turkeys: The Bloc Quebecois for its slogan "Give us independence or give us gold-plated MP pensions;" the Green Party's Elizabeth May for making televised leadership debates even more unwatchable and the Liberal Party of Canada for picking the wrong leader -- again.

OK, now I'm done talking turkey, except to say Happy Thanksgiving.